Have you ever loved someone so much that you would give them everything good in your life if it only meant that they could be happy?

Kick-Box That Frown Away

Do you ever get to the point where absolutely nothing is going your way? And no matter how hard you try, things still refuse to cooperate? I applied for Sterling Scholar in the Music category. Yeah, I didn't get it. I got close, I was one of four finalists in the category. But it was one of those things that I just really needed to go my way, and it didn't.

And what do I do when things don't go my way? I pretend like I don't care. After awhile, whether that be hours or days, I freak out at someone I love over something really stupid. Life gets more difficult, because I end up pushing people away when I really need them the most. Go figure, right? I do a lot of pouting when I'm by myself, and when I'm with others I tend to flaunt my failure so as to lure people into thinking I don't care. I really do though.

When I truly care about things, people, ideas, etc., I care for them deeply. I'm sorry if I'm not always able to convey that. But it's true. However, when I feel like the world hates me, I take it out on what or whom I care about. Horrid habit, I know. It's one of those instances where instead of throwing myself a pity party, I should do something productive like kick-boxing or pottery or homework or something.

So, the moral of this rant? When the world doesn't go your way, tell the world to suck it and find something useful to do. I know, I'm not the pro, but I'm working on it. It's a more fulfilling way to get over things, and -- if you're like me -- it keeps those you love from having to endure your nastiness. I'm almost positive they would love to be spared that.

Better Your Way

I've always wanted to be an exciting person. I've never considered myself to be exciting, mainly because loud and exciting are not necessarily synonymous. But in trying to be exciting, I tend to stray from who I really am. I'm really bad at just being me. I guess I don't consider myself to be fun or interesting. Rather, I usually consider myself to be boring and obnoxious, and a complete dork. I look at other people, people I consider to be exciting, and I want to be like them. Bad idea.

That's why my quote this week is, "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be." It's true. If you're a Molly pretending to be a bad girl, over time you'll realize that you're no longer pretending to be a bad girl, and you're somewhere you never intended to be.

So I've been experimenting. And I've found that life is a lot easier when you stop pretending to be someone you're not. Granted, I didn't come to this conclusion on my own (eternal thanks to you!), and I'm not exactly Queen of Being Myself. But it's a work-in-progress. And we are getting there.

Moral of the story? Don't try to be someone you're not. There are enough exciting people in the world; we need boring, normal, down-to-earth people to counterbalance that excitement. Be content in being who you are, because more people than you can possibly know like you better that way.

Embracing Simplicity

My favorite moments in life are the simple ones. Moments you share with people close to you. I adore car rides. Well, depending on who's driving. But there's something to be said about being able to enjoy the road closures and parking-lot-traffic because of who you're with. Bus and plane rides fit in this category also. I love music, and its ability to make a memory eternal: each time you hear a certain song play, you flash back to an isolated experience.

I love being clean. There are few things I look forward to more than being able to wash my face before I go to bed at the end of the day. On really nasty days -- those days when the world hates you and you can't find your slippers -- the thought of washing my face keeps me moving through the day. There's definitely something to be said for cleansing the part of you that the world sees most frequently. To me, it's like all the impurities, the ugly words that were said, the feelings that were hurt, the pride that was injured, the people who make you want to cry, they're all washed away with the dirt and the makeup, leaving clean pores and soft skin. It puts me in a better mood, and I sleep more soundly, not worrying over stupid things. It's a simple ritual, but it means a lot to me.

Girls drive me crazy. They're so complicated. Yes, I am complicated more often than not. But I kind of drive myself crazy also. :) I hate all the expectations that come with being around girls. I hate the competition. Oh, don't deny it, you know it's there. Who's the prettiest, who's the wittiest, who's the fastest, who's the smartest, who's the thinnest, who's the important-est, who's needs for attention are most fully satisfied-est. I love hanging out with guys. A select few in particular. But for the most part, hanging out with a guy is low-key. No huge expectations, no competition (unless you're playing video games), no cattiness, no blatant attacks on your emotions. Food, entertainment, something to do. You talk, you stuff your face, you use a yard stick as a microphone while belting out random songs, you watch a freaking sweet movie. Simple stuff. It's relaxing. I've never hung out with a girl and come home relaxed. I'm always on edge. I hate girls.

Hot chocolate is amazing. I'm sort of picky about hot chocolate, so I always make it myself. But without fail, hot chocolate always makes me feel better. It's a simple fix to any problem, from lethargy to math tests. The best is drinking a mug of hot chocolate while bundled in a big, warm, fuzzy blanket, sitting in/on your favorite piece of furniture. Cliche, i know. But so worth it.

Life is really stressful. We shouldn't complicate it anymore than we have to. End of story. Embracing the simple aspects of life -- car rides, music, washing your face, hanging out with boys, blankets and hot chocolate -- can be quite the stress-reliever.

Alternatives to a Necessary Evil

So, Sterling Scholar Applications were due today. What's with all the people who've already secured full-ride scholarships to their selected schools trying to compete with us poor kids who can't afford to go to college if we don't get this scholarship? Um, go find some national scholarship contest to enter. I've basically decided that I hate money. If our world wasn't completely controlled by it, life would be happier. In my utopian society, you would join clubs and non-profit organizations and such, and the time you spent involved in those would "pay" for your schooling. Obama said a couple weeks ago that he wanted to institute a plan where any person who joins AmeriCorps, the Peace Corps, or the military (although being a pacifist I wouldn't choose the last option) and serves for a year will have their college paid for by federal funds. I think it's a brilliant plan. Too bad our country doesn't have any funds to spend in the first place.

I'm a big fan of non-profit organizations and clubs and such. I thrive on being involved in all kinds of things. I've only been volunteering at the AF hospital for nine months, but it's been sort of a life-changing experience. Volunteerism is something drastically overlooked and underrated in our society. Imagine all the things we could accomplish if everyone were to volunteer for something they cared about.

It's always been my dream to join an organization like the Peace Corps. Maybe something smaller, more quaint. But someday, either between college and graduate school or after graduate school, I want to travel to Africa and Asia and South America, teaching English and helping people build better lives for themselves. It's my firm belief that the surest way to save the world -- from poverty, hunger, disease, and such; once it's started, there's not much you can do about war but wait for it end and then clean up the mess -- is to teach others. Teach them to take care of themselves. Teach them to care. Give them the desire to make a better life for themselves and they will work to obtain it, instead of waiting for the government to hand it to them.

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them."
--George Bernard Shaw